My youngest daughter turns fifteen in 21 days, 22 hours, 16 minutes and 41 seconds. I know this because I have been counting down the days for a little over six months now. It is with keen anticipation that I look forward to saying, "Good riddance 14, don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!" because if there's an "official" worst age for girls, 14 is it. The day the switch flipped, and reason left the building. I may not have reams of laboratory data to back up my claim …
Into the Great Wide Open – Skydiving Into Life’s Next Chapter
This was supposed to be an article about skydiving in Ottawa but as often happens, the story I intend to write and the story that gets written is often wildly different. And oh my god, doesn’t that last sentence just sum up the last twenty years of my life. So, apologies in advance if you came here to learn about skydiving in Ottawa, because this is actually about skydiving into a life. Pre-jump. I recently published a list of 50 things I wanted to conquer in honour of my upcoming 50th …
Tinder is a Dumpster Fire, Save Yourself the Download
Ugh, the dating scene. Of all the places I want to be right now, dating is ranked just above colonoscopies and root canals. I am completely and utterly apathetic about love and relationships at the moment, which means there is no better time to do a deep dive into Tinder. My cynicism is high and my caring is low. With nothing but time on my hands for about a week, I threw a pity party for one and wallowed in bed with potato chips and Tinder. I am here to tell you ladies that while it …
My Name is Candace and I Am An Internet Abuser
This was supposed to be a post extolling the virtues of the new Ignite WiFi Hub from Rogers and how it’s helping me get my teens in line. I was ready to throw my kids under the bus and talk about how much time they spend online. I had my righteous indignation locked and loaded people. Fear me child, for I shall smite thee with all the motherly judgement I can muster. Photographic evidence of my harsh parenting. Aaaaand then I had a closer look at my internet usage. Derp. Internet abuser, …
50 Things To Do When You Turn 50 – Chase Down Your Goals
Last night my daughter and I sat and brainstormed “50 things to do to celebrate turning 50”. According to my daughter Ava, I have already achieved badass status as I approach the half-century mark, but completing this list will cement my place at the top of the heap. That, or it’s going to kill me. Also sidebar, I know today, I'm totally getting hit up for cash. Compliments from 14 year olds always come with a catch. I can still do a decent cartwheel at 49, but can I pull off a backflip? …
