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Life In Pleasantville

Life In Pleasantville

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Humour

“Holy Shit I’m Tired”  – The Menopausal Woman’s Lament

by Candace Sampson

November 28th marks my firstborn’s 22nd birthday, and coincidentally, the 22nd anniversary of the beginning of my perpetual exhaustion. I could technically say 22 years and 3 months because that last trimester was a real doozy, but I digress. The point is, I’m tired. So fucking tired. I would dream of a good night’s sleep, …

Read more“Holy Shit I’m Tired”  – The Menopausal Woman’s Lament
age dysmorphia

The Perils of Age Dysmorphia, Chicken Baseball, and the FAFO Generation

by Candace Sampson

I’m pretty sure “age dysmorphia” isn’t an official term, but for the sake of making my point, let’s say it is and define it as follows: Age dysmorphia is when a group of women in their fifties cannot reconcile the mature reflections they see in the mirror with the immature teenagers they act like (no …

Read moreThe Perils of Age Dysmorphia, Chicken Baseball, and the FAFO Generation
worst age for girls

The Worst Age for Girls is 14, and the End of Reason

by Candace Sampson

My youngest daughter turns fifteen in 21 days, 22 hours, 16 minutes and 41 seconds. I know this because I have been counting down the days for a little over six months now. It is with keen anticipation that I look forward to saying, “Good riddance 14, don’t let the door hit you in the …

Read moreThe Worst Age for Girls is 14, and the End of Reason
skydiving in ottawa

Into the Great Wide Open – Skydiving Into Life’s Next Chapter

by Candace Sampson

This was supposed to be an article about skydiving in Ottawa but as often happens, the story I intend to write and the story that gets written is often wildly different. And oh my god, doesn’t that last sentence just sum up the last twenty years of my life. So, apologies in advance if you …

Read moreInto the Great Wide Open – Skydiving Into Life’s Next Chapter

Tinder is a Dumpster Fire, Save Yourself the Download

by Candace Sampson

Ugh, the dating scene. Of all the places I want to be right now, dating is ranked just above colonoscopies and root canals. I am completely and utterly apathetic about love and relationships at the moment, which means there is no better time to do a deep dive into Tinder. My cynicism is high and …

Read moreTinder is a Dumpster Fire, Save Yourself the Download

My Name is Candace and I Am An Internet Abuser

by Candace Sampson

This was supposed to be a post extolling the virtues of the new Ignite WiFi Hub from Rogers and how it’s helping me get my teens in line. I was ready to throw my kids under the bus and talk about how much time they spend online. I had my righteous indignation locked and loaded …

Read moreMy Name is Candace and I Am An Internet Abuser

50 Things To Do When You Turn 50 – Chase Down Your Goals

by Candace Sampson

Last night my daughter and I sat and brainstormed “50 things to do to celebrate turning 50”. According to my daughter Ava, I have already achieved badass status as I approach the half-century mark, but completing this list will cement my place at the top of the heap. That, or it’s going to kill me. …

Read more50 Things To Do When You Turn 50 – Chase Down Your Goals

I Have a Freaking Lilac Tree

by Candace Sampson

I have a freaking lilac tree. This news came as quite a surprise to me today, as I was sitting in my backyard doing a deep dive on my feelings. I’ve become a real free diver in this lately, letting feelings, like actual feelings wash over me. Head down, writing down attempt #99 of defining …

Read moreI Have a Freaking Lilac Tree
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