So, I’m sitting here watching MissRepresentation on my computer, because I had just sat, not an hour ago, and raved about it to a friend. About what a great film it is and how it shows how women are attacked and dehumanized in the media. About how hard it is to be a woman in society today, how hard it is to raise a girl in this society. Then, after she left, I thought it was worth going back and looking at again. As I’m watching it, *ding*, a message for me on Facebook from my good friend who said “I love this shot of you” and so I open it, cringing before I even see it, ready to tear myself down.
Do I say “Damm I look good?” Nope. First thoughts into my head….my nose is too wide, my arms are looking chunky, look at the fat under my arm, my skin looks mottled, shiny, old, and I hate my hair.
Jeezus, maybe it’s me that needs a frickin’ intervention.
I know that, for the most part, I have a fairly good sense of humour about my aging body. I also, have a fairly well-developed sense of self. I’ve seen absolutely terrible pictures of myself and laughed myself silly. Hell, I’ve posted them on the internet for the world to see. That doesn’t mean that I’m immune to insecurity.
The irony of all this of course, is that I was watching a movie to give me ammunition to help my daughters combat this very thing.
This is not a post looking for sympathy compliments. Please, hold them back. If I wanted to fish, I’d grab a rod and reel. I mean this to be a honest discussion. Why do we do this to ourselves? What standards are we holding ourselves to? How often do your insecurities catch up to you? What do you do to combat it? And more importantly, how do we convince our daughters of their worth, if we don’t entirely buy into our own?