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Things I Learned this Week

By //  by Candace Sampson

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If you’re not learning, you’re not growing, right? That doesn’t necessarily mean that every lesson is going to broaden your horizons. Here’s what I gleaned this week.

– that a mammogram isn’t that bad, once you get over the awkwardness of a woman feeling you up that is. Although, I think they could at least serve a glass of wine to loosen you up a bit. Get to know me a little. Is that so much to ask?

– that my breasts are friggin’ contortionists. I had no idea they were that pliable and could flatten like pancakes. Is there some kind of award for this? A circus I could join?

– That I prefer blogging to vlogging. At least when I blog I don’t have to put make up on and I can stay in my pajamas. #Winning

– that patent leather heels bring a whole new level of pain to the high heel wearing experience. This in no way implies that I won’t wear them again. Pain be damned, they look smokin’

– that I’m not the only one that wishes they had the gift of foresight

– apparently you can make something called “Swish” from used whiskey barrels. I am currently discouraging my father and husband from doing this with the two I just bought.

– that I am still a teenage girl when I discover a new song, playing it over and over and over again

– that when you get busted for speeding in front of your children, there’s really no way out of it. You have to own up.

– that Coca-cola eats hard water stains in your toilet. I am now intrigued as to how I even have a stomach left.

– that being married to a 50 year old is hot. Men really do get better with age. Rowr.

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Filed Under: Martini Mommy, Uncategorized Tagged With: Candace Derickx, Life in Pleasantville, Life lessons, Martini Mommy, patent leather shoes are assholes, What i Learned this Week

About Candace Sampson

Candace is founder and editor-in-chief of Life in Pleasantville which isn't half as fancy as it sounds. You can find her sharing travel stories on What She Said Radio and on CTV Ottawa Morning Live.

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Comments

  1. Kat

    May 18, 2012 at 10:14 am

    It’s like we’re driving twins! I don’t know what swish is, but it sounds messy.

  2. Candace

    May 18, 2012 at 11:55 am

    Apparently you can suck the alcohol out of the wood barrel or some such nonsense to make Swish, which is basically moonshine. Oy.

  3. Alison

    May 18, 2012 at 6:56 pm

    Good list : I love stilettos, but never learned to walk in them … except a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes I bought in Vegas on a girl’s trip. I can run in them. It’s awesome.

  4. Busy Mom of Twins

    May 19, 2012 at 7:29 pm

    A great list. I hear you on the mammogram. I was surprised it didn’t hurt more to have my breasts smooshed like that! Love the shoes. Envy that you can even walk in them. Since my twins I have had horrible plantar fascitis so I am pretty much stuck with Birkenstocks. What a fashion statement I am! familyfoodtravel.blogspot.ca

  5. Candace

    May 19, 2012 at 9:36 pm

    Really? I need to get myself a pair of Jimmy Choo’s then 🙂

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