My daughter is in Grade 4 this year and we’ve been very lucky; she has loved every teacher she has had so far. That is until now. Her teacher this year is stressing her out. I didn’t expect of course that she wouldn’t ever get a teacher she wouldn’t mesh with. That’s unrealistic. Doesn’t everybody have a story of “that teacher” after all? I’d be willing to let this all slide normally, but this teacher is different.
She yells. A lot. I’m aware I live in glass house here, and shouldn’t throw stones. So full disclosure, I yell. Believe me when I say, I am getting better at this but my kids still find those buttons occasionally. I can lose my cool and yell because my children drive me absolutely put-me-in-a-straitjacket-and-commit-me crazy sometimes. And it’s not just my kids. Other peoples kids have that affect on me as well. Although, I’ve never raised my voice at a child other than my own. It’s a flaw in my character and I know myself well enough that teaching never even crossed my mind. So, I have to ask, has it ever occurred to this teacher that maybe, just maybe she isn’t well suited for the job? Maybe it’s time to take a break. Talk to somebody?
Before school started Morgan was stressing about getting a certain teacher because she’d heard she was really mean. To me, that’s just rumour and I explained to her “What if this teacher heard that you were an awful student. Difficult to deal with. Mean. Whiny?” “I am not,” she protested. “No, you’re not, but let’s pretend that’s the scuttlebutt in the teacher’s lounge”. So now this teacher is at home saying, “I hope I don’t get that Morgan kid. Please don’t let me get that Morgan kid in my class”. With this she started to laugh and I like to think it showed her it’s not fair to draw conclusions until you know. She didn’t end up getting the mean teacher, but she did end up with the mean teacher that yells. Sigh.
My youngest daughter has commented that every time she walks by her older sister’s classroom the teacher is yelling. My niece and nephew confirm that yup, she’s a yeller. Other mothers are hearing from their children that she yells all the time and during the second week of school my daughter broke down crying because she “feels really bad” when her teacher yells. I know one family that is working to have their daughter removed from the class. In the most telling story of all, my nine-year old has observed that every time an adult comes in to observe the class her teacher gets very sweet.
So, I don’t think this is the typical problem of a personality clash. I think this teacher is a little out of line. Herein lies the problem. My daughter does not want me to approach the school. Obviously, she’s afraid of retribution even though she denies that. She seems to have resigned herself to having this teacher and has taken a “keep my head down” attitude towards the whole thing.
I’m getting a little tired of hearing about this though. I mean every day I hear some story about this teacher and frankly, I don’t want to hear about the teacher. I want to hear about what’s been taught. I want my daughter to learn at school, not live in fear of being yelled at. I’m ready to go talk to this teacher, despite my daughter’s protests. Am I out of line? Over-reacting?
What would you do?
Halloween, Scary or Sexy?
Mara
I’m a teller too. That’s why I’m not a teacher. There are a ton of AbFab teachers out there who love their careers, kids, and cam creatively enable our kids to learn. Them there are the ok teachers who are nice but aren’t that great. And lastly there are the horror shows. They need to be stopped. My friends son had a teacher who threw a shoe at h. Another told her grade 8 class they’re a bunch of dummies who will never amount to anything. Another told the kids she doesn’t understand the math, and yet another let kids tease a DEAF boy in her classroom. This stiff can’t happen. Tell your daughter that you love that e confided in you, and respect that shedoesnt want you to say anything. But, to help the teacher to be better, and to make sure she (your girl) is able to learn, you’re going to have to speak to the principal. If you were in a restaurant, and your waitress yelled at you would you hesitate to tell the manager? Teachers are accountable, like everyone else. Good luck!
Eileen
My son had a very similar circumstance in Grade 2. He kept telling us the teacher was SO loud & yelled at them all day. So I went to the school to check it out and honest to gawd, I could hear this teacher from the other end of the school. I got all into Mama Bear mode and then I discovered that the teacher actually had a problem with her throat and was using a wireless mike and headset, which the kids didn’t realize. They couldn’t see the mic because it went around her ear & was hidden by her hair. It WAS loud, but once she turned it down a bit, it was just fine. The kids were all too scared to say anything to her!
Ya gotta say something to the principal of your school and voice your concern (no pun intended). Any time you are feeling uneasy about a teacher, it needs to be addressed – it could be an instance of something maybe not quite as huge as first thought. OR, there could be something bigger & if so, get it nipped in the bud so your child feels better.
Charlene
No you aren’t over reacting.Request a meeting with the principal to discuss this. Usually I’d say go the “chain of command” route and talk to the teacher but not in this circumstance. Address your concerns with the principal and DOCUMENT everything. Everything.
Can you tell we’ve gone down that road?
krista
I’ve been known to yell at the lils too, and I hate it. I see what happens to their demeanour when I do it, and I feel like a heel. BUT – I work at this, and know that *I* am the problem here.
I would not hesitate to go to the school on this one – it is not going to get better. Tough spot, momma. I’d talk to your daughter first, explain why – that she shouldn’t be afraid at school, particularly not of the teaacher….
Leslie
Definitely address it, but let Morgan know what you are doing and why. At 9, they’re old enough to understand the “why”. Dealing with it sends a positive message that her welfare and happiness are what is most important to you and that no one needs to accept being treated poorly … by anyone. The teacher should show the children the same respect that she expects. Ironic that she won’t get their respect until she does. Hmmm.
Lisa
Oh my god. This made me so angry. Teachers should not be allowed to yell at students. Ever. We (I’m speaking as a teacher here) teach our students to show respect and manners, and we in turn show them the same courtesy. Our job is to create a safe learning environment where all children can express themselves without fear. Yelling does not create such an environment. Also, a teacher who needs to resort to shouting, often, as a classroom management tactic clearly has lost control of the classroom. So, you bet your sweet ass I’d be talking to the principal about this teacher. He/she is not doing her job.