Today I am sitting at my desk, begrudgingly writing out cheques for my children’s annual crappy photo shoot, A.K.A., their school pictures. It pains me to pay for these because they are spectacularly bad, although not as spectacularly bad as last year where I refused to purchase them all together.
I seriously don’t get it. We live in a digital age people. Can these photography companies not look at the picture and say, “Maybe your mom won’t like the way you’re grimacing there. Let’s try again.” No, of course they can’t because they don’t care. They run the children through at breakneck speed to get it done fast. They know that most of us will fork over the cash anyway. See they have us parents in an interesting position. First, if you don’t get the the picture then it’s like you’re losing a piece of your child’s history forever. Oh I know, we all have five gazillion pictures of our children, but not in front of the cheesy blue screen or the incredibly fake looking book stack. Second, your children, the loves of your life, look so damn hurt when you say “That is the worst picture of you EVER”.
I’m not kidding, one year my daughter looked like she was in the middle of a bowel movement for heaven’s sake. Face all scrunched up, eyes squeezed closed. I actually asked her “Were you pooping in this picture?” She laughed out loud, because she gets her mother’s sense of humour thankfully. But on the flip side they actually sent that garbage home to me. You’d think they’d be a little embarrassed. This is their business after all. Apparently, school photography companies are above all that.
I’m fairly confident I could get better pictures in the photo booth at the mall. In fact, I just talked myself out of those cheques. Pictures at the mall and a new pair of shoes. I’ve got better ways to spend my money.