To hear the weatherman tell it, we’re looking down the barrel of the mother of all storms. Or not. It may just be a dusting. One never can tell really, and if you’re the weatherman it’s best to always err on the side of mass hysteria. SNOWMAGEDDON. POLAR VORTEX. THE TWISTED BLIZZARD. Actually, I just came up with that last one and I think it’s pretty good. Please note you saw it here first.
Anyhoo, with all of this being said, my children are willing the weather to be as bad as possible in the next couple of days. I mean, you can actually see their brains pulsing as they try and use Jedi mind tricks to stop the school buses!
To be fair, my girls actually have a pretty good track record of making snow days happen. To hear them tell it, they were successful 9 times out of 10 times last year using tried and true methods to make the snow fall. To hear me tell it, I’d say it was a crappy year for snowstorms. Who you believe is up to you. But this is about how to bring the snow, so let me share their practically no-fail ways with you.
How to Make a Snow Day Happen
Put a spoon under your pillow.
This small act is meant to signify that there will be so much flipping snow when you wake up in the morning that you will have to dig your way out.
Wear your pajamas inside out and backwards.
My youngest daughter loves doing this in July, so I can’t attest to it’s legitimacy but heck, it’s fun right?
Drop One Ice Cube in The Toilet for Every Inch of Snow you Want.
Alright look, I had to put a kibosh on this one because it scares me a little. The year we had 13 ft of snow in one winter, I could never find an ice cube in the freezer. You be the judge. Do this at your own peril.
Shake a Snow Globe Every Time You Walk Past One.
This just make sense, right? I mean, I do it. It’s just so damn pretty….contained in a snow globe. As my one daughter has observed on snow days, “Who’s shaking us, right now?” Deep thoughts for one so little.
Eat Ice Cream the Night Before.
I call baloney on this one. I’m pretty sure this was invented by a kid with a sweet tooth. I’ll leave it up to you if you give it any credence or now.
Say Your Prayers.
Well d’uh. Say them hard kids, because for every little child praying with hands clasped and eyes all squinted up, there’s a parent across the hall praying equally as hard that the weatherman was just drinking again. If you’d like to hand your child the words though, here it is:
I pray the Lord lays the snow down deep
Please give me a snow day before I wake
So I can have big snowmen to make
How to Survive a Snow Day With Your Kids
Send them outside.
Be Stocked Up on Food
Blow the Dust Off the Board Games
Occasionally snow storms bring power outages and you may be forced to find a bored, er I mean, a board game. Try not to fall asleep in your Monopoly pieces as you struggle through a four hour game. I kid, I kid. Board games are super fun….when your kids friends are over to play them. Otherwise, elect your spouse to this job.
Hide the Cutlery and Become an Athiest
Okay, so you’ve made it through the day with your little darlings and it’s time for bed. DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT take any chances. Put their pajamas on yourself, hide the spoons and refuse all prayers for the night. After all, these kids are going to get power hungry if allowed to continue like this. Best to nip it in the bud now.