Michelle Duggar has me feeling a little like an underachiever today. I mean for starters she just announced she’s expecting with child number 20. TWENTY!! I mean there’s a good chance in two or three generations half the population of the United States will be a descendent of the Duggar clan for Pete’s sake. Talk about leaving a legacy. What else is leaving me small and meek? How about this:
1. She is 45 and chasing after toddlers and babies like a twenty year old. I get exhausted just thinking about it. In fact, I may need a nap after this post.
2. She blogs. What? I mean, really? Back off sister! Is it not enough that you make my uterus feel unworthy but you need to step into blogging as well. I can hardly organize myself to blog and I only have a measley two kids.
3. She has good kids. This is perhaps the biggest slap in the face. None of them ever show up in a tabloid strung out on meth. None of them have found Marilyn Manson yet. How do you raise so many kids that are seemingly well-adjusted? I already have a trust fund for my kids therapy bills.
4. Everyone is always dressed and put-together. My youngest always leaves the house with a huge lump on the back of her head where she forgot to brush. Do I chase after her and fix it? Meh. That’s effort I don’t have in me.
5. She is apparently having a lot of sex. ‘Nuff said.
6. She’s a long-term planner. She had the foresight to see that by the time she had the 20th, there would be at least 10 other people to take care of it. Brilliant!
7. She’s happy about this news. I have friends that upon finding out they were having another slipped into full fledged panic mode. Michelle is all like “Oh my, well what do you know? Tee hee”.
8. She looks good. I mean, my grandmother had 16 (amateur) and she just always looked old and tired. I think she died so she could get some rest. Michelle Duggar looks like she might outlive us all. What’s her secret?