I am forty-four years of age and my dad has still not admitted to me that there is no Santa Claus. It has been a bit of an ongoing thing with us for the last thirty-five years or so, when I first started to question the existence of the jolly old elf. I would needle him trying to get him to admit that he and my mom were actually behind it all. My dad would get a twinkle in his eye and an amused smile across his face and insist that “Yes, Candace, there is a Santa Claus.”
In all that time, I have never once thought of my father as a liar. My faith and trust in him was never betrayed because he spun a story about Santa Claus for me. Yet, more and more, I see story after story about how people refuse to lie to their kids about the existence of Santa and how parents that do so are betraying their kid’s trust.
To this I say, “Oh puhleeze.”
If you don’t want to tell your kids about Santa then all the power to you, I 100% support your decision to do so. Just stop trying to make me feel bad about my decision to keep the notion of Santa alive and well, ok? I think it’s awesome that you want to be totally honest with your kids. Seriously, good on you. I for one, am more than happy to keep the lie going for my kids and hopefully, their kids.
Do I revel in the fact that on Christmas Eve my kids bolt for bed at 8 leaving my husband and I time to snuggle by the tree? Darn tooting. Have I reminded my kids that Santa’s watching as soon as November 1st hits? Absolutely. Does the threat of calling the North Pole stop sibling fighting on a dime? Yes indeedy it does. I manage to sleep just fine at night as I spin my web of Santa lies.
I don’t feel bad either that my kids light up when our very lazyass Elf on the Shelf, Mervin, leaves brand new Christmas pajamas before returning to the North Pole on Christmas Eve. I delight in watching those extraordinary liars at NORAD stoke the excitement in my kids when they start tracking Santa around the globe. I love that we can’t go to bed Christmas Eve until we leave out cookies and milk for Santa and carrots for his reindeer. I giggle listening to the excited whispers coming from their rooms as my husband shakes the jingle bells out on the front lawn.
I’m really not sure what side of the Santa fence I’ve enjoyed more; being a parent weaving the Santa myth for my children or being a child delighting in the wonder of it all. Either way, Santa Claus has brought sheer joy to me my whole life and so, no, I don’t feel even a little bit bad about sharing the myth with my children. In fact, I’m willing to lay money that if my kids ever need psychological counseling it won’t be because I created trust issues when I lied to them about Santa.
This year my oldest daughter has begun to lay the groundwork for what I’m sure will be a long-standing discussion in our house. “Mom, is there really a Santa Claus?” At eleven, she’s old enough to know that there probably isn’t but is young enough to be worried that by denying his existence she might get socks and underwear under the tree. “Yes, Morgan, there really is a Santa Claus”, I reply with a smile. Oddly enough, my conscience is clean.
6 Gifts For The Foodie
Sara
Yes Yes Yes. I love the magic of Christmas. I love the suspense and the tradition and the wonderment and the awesome power of keeping the magic alive.
Tara
You know, I wish my parents had told me. In grade 4 I still happily believed and hadn’t even questioned his existence. Santa was real. Then comes along my grade 4 teacher Mr Lapointe and he casually mentioned in class that Santa didn’t exist. I pretended, of course, that I knew, but inside I was crushed. I cried all the way home from school.
I don’t need therapy from the disappointment but a heads up would have been nice.
Catherine (@AlwaysARedhead)
I am on the Santa side. My kids 24, 21 & 19 all receive presents from Santa Claus (not the socks, they are from me), and they know better not to even consider saying there isn’t a Santa Claus. They also receive a lump of coal (yes the real stuff) because they are not perfect.
Jodi Martin
This is absolutely my favourite Life in Pleasantville post Candace! You beyond nailed it and I too have read so many exhausting posts about the damage we are doing to our children by keeping up this scam. As a child I fell in love with the idea of Santa, and I am quite sure I figured out the gig was up before I was ten,…but I continued to play along. Not to give my parents any sort of justification or notion of being stellar parents, no- not at all, I did it for me, because believing in Santa was one of the highlights of my childhood. You know, sometimes it’s okay to hang onto the things that get you through in life. And so, in my house, Santa lives on!
Tweepwife
Yes. A million times yes, Candace, there is a Santa Claus. He lives and breathes the spirit of Christmas.
writewrds
Santa is real. Really.
Trippin With Tara (@tasalinas)
You make me smile!
Katja
Yes! My parents have never admitted it and my 14 year old won’t even ask. He just looks at me with a smile as I talk about Santa and the magic of Christmas. I’ve never felt lied to and I’m sure they won’t either.
Sheila
We never did the Santa thing growing up so I never thought to do it with my son. We’ve always told him not to spoil the fun for everyone else and he’s been really good about. I have no problem with people asking my son about Santa. He still enjoys the idea of him just like he enjoys superheroes.
callista83
We do not “do” Santa Claus. By that I mean our children know where the presents really come from. However I have never told anyone else they shouldn’t keep the Santa thing going or that my way is the right way. I never would. It’s the right way for US, not necessarily for everyone.
I found out Santa wasn’t real when I was 12. I was the LAST person to find out in my class and many kids younger than me knew too. They kept telling me he wasn’t real but I couldn’t believe my parents would lie to me. When I finally found out, I was CRUSHED. I was mad at my parents for lying and I had the worst Christmas ever.
That is a big reason why we do things the way we do but it’s not the only reason. We are Pagan and celebrate Yule and we also celebrate Hanukkah because my dad’s family does. We celebrate Christmas because my mom’s family does and I always did.
We still celebrate Christmas and we still talk about Santa and do Santa crafts and sing Santa songs. When other people ask them what they want Santa to bring for them, they answer with something from their wishlist, they do not ruin it for others by saying “there is no Santa.” I’ve also taught them that that statement isn’t true. There IS a Santa. There used to be an actual person called Saint Nicholas and now we celebrate Christmas and honor him by giving presents to those we love in the name of Santa. As they get older I explain more and more.
Tara
I still get presents from Santa under the tree at my parents house. I’m 44 and they are in their 80’s. It makes me feel warm just thinking about it. They also leave presents from Santa on the porch at a neighbours house who’s family doesn’t have much money, and have never told anyone they do it. That to me proves Santa is real. 🙂
Tracy
Love it!! I lied to my now 16 year old daughter for years. And she doesn’t have trust issues. She knows the ” truth” but we still talk about Santa and she always gets a gift from him under the tree. It’s part of the magic of the season.
Melanie
My 12 year old son asked me to be honest to his “is there a Santa clause real” question. I told him the truth and now he is so sad that there is no magic…the next morning he added “I guess this means there is no Easter Bunny born any of the other fantasies.” Your post has me rethinking my decision (I didn’t want him to think me a liar)