I know I’m not standard woman material. I’d rather argue politics than read about the Mom Wars. I’d rather spork myself in the eyeballs than spend hundreds of dollars shopping for fashionable shoes that I know will hurt my feet. And I’d rather spend 10 hours listening to the hamster dance song than watch one Justin Bieber YouTube video. I’ve been lied to all my life about things that are proper, womanly things to do with my kid around the Holidays. Martha Stewart’s done it to me. So has …