Ahhhh, the promise of a new year is just around the corner, and with that comes resolutions and promises for new beginnings. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could leave some things behind though?
With that in mind I approached some of my favourite people in social media and asked them to share three things with my readers that they hoped would die a quick and sudden death before the clock strikes twelve this New Year’s Eve. Most gave me three, one person had only one and my lobster, Kelli, gave me five. What can I say? I know a lot of rebels. One thing is for certain — I think we can all agree that this list would be best left behind in 2012.
Candace from Life In Pleasantville
Vanity shots. Please stop. I can’t take the daily self-portrait taken with your iPhone, using your very best duck face every frickin’ day. It’s vulgar, and obnoxious. Don’t worry I’m not talking about you.
Google +. There I said it, and if some unfortunate accident should befall my blog we’ll all know why.
Pork rinds. Please stop. Just eat bacon, it’s more respectable.
ANYTHING to do with the Kardashians…all the way down the family tree to 3rd cousins twice removed.
ALL pictures of peoples’ Starbucks coffee can kind of get zapped into cyber space…..along with self portraits Candace mentioned…
Chris Brown……’nuff said.
People who have the sound on their phone turned up to the loudest volume for ANY function. (Unless maybe it’s the ringer in case your kid’s school calls) Seriously, if you have it turned up ridiculously loud, you’re likely in a ridiculously loud environment when having your phone in your pocket, on vibrate. Just stop it.
People who chew with their mouths open. Enough said.
Judging. Remember that time you were having a half a tub of Ben & Jerry’s while watching The Notebook after a crappy day, but no one was there to see it or judge you on what you did? Well when someone opens up about a particularly difficult time online or share a moment they’re not particularly proud of, they’re being vulnerable and looking for support – not for someone to make them feel crappier. So before you turn all Judgey McJudgerson, remember that we all do the best we can and if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.
Cryptic Facebook updates. Either come right out and tell us why “you’re having the worst day ever” or don’t bother posting at all. We know you’re just waiting for somebody to take the bait. The same goes for passive aggressive tweets. It may feel good to anonymously slam somebody who’s done you wrong in the moment, but are you really moving toward a resolution? Doubt it. Plus, it makes you appear pretty whiny.
Bullies. We’re sorry that you’re hurting inside and feel the need to lash out, but cut it out. Get some help. Heal, learn to love yourself and quit thrusting your pain upon innocent bystanders (human, canine, bovine, feline, etc.)
Packaging abuse. There is no room in 2013 for such waste. Does anyone really need six napkins to eat one fast food sandwich? How messy are we? Also, if you happen to pass through a drive-thru on occasion, do you really need your wrapped sandwich served to you in a bag which you will promptly throw away in about 15 seconds along with the cardboard tray that is holding your bottle of water and cup of coffee? Just because you’re offered all this extra packaging, it doesn’t mean you have to take it. And if you do, I’m not judging, but consider throwing it in the recycling bin instead of the trash. I know YOU recycle, but not everyone does.
Honey Boo Boo (just the show, not the actual child)
Weightloss through surgery
Mean comments on the internet
Peplum (who willingly tries to make their hips look bigger?)
Honey Boo Boo (seriously) and any other reality show ‘star’ who is given the celebrity treatment. No more Jersey Shore/Real Housewives/Honey Boo Boo’s anywhere but on their stupid reality show.
The combining of celebrity names (Brangelina, Robsten, Tomkat, Bennifer 2.0)
Jessica Simpson (got pregnant, got fat, had a baby, lost weight, got pregnant again. Been there, done that – without the $4.4million paycheque)
Acrylic french manicures.
People who autofeed their Facebook updates into Twitter
People who think they can ask their teen to take care of the social media for their BUSINESS
Those scarves that look like baby slings. I don’t find them ugly so much as wonder where their baby is. Or if they know they accidentally bought a baby sling as an accessory.
If there is one thing that stands out to me as something I don’t want to hear about any more is ’50 shades of anything’….that term has been used and abused and needs to be left with 2012, fun books and time to be done with the reference!
Heather from Globetrotting Mama
Parental Judgy McJudgersons: The person with whom all final parenting decisions should stop? You. Tune out the judgment and catch yourself when you’re doing it to others. We all make choices we think are best for our kids. Start there on your way to understanding.
Bucket Lists: Chances are you’ll kick the bucket and still be adding to that list. Make a life list instead and start working towards it now. Small steps can bring big dreams. Trust me on that one.
Nay-sayers/Dream killers: The ones who shoot the “it’ll never happen” and “you’re dreaming” arrows at your “what if” balloons. Ignore them. Those dreams of yours are exactly what is going to make yours a life worth living.
Swag -The Oxford Dictionary defines swag as a curtain or piece of fabric; alternatively it also means goods taken by a thief. So, swaggy people are basically masked sewing bandits. The Urban Dictionary tells us swag comes from Scottish slang describing a way of walking and has now devolved into an indication of cool. If you’re calling yourself and friends swag, you aren’t.
The worst infraction though is its use when speaking of things – stuff – loot – goods, ill or honestly gotten. Either way can we all agree to use proper language and call a pile of gifts, a pile of gifts? And while we’re at it, unless you’re street, speaking street slang sounds, well, not street.
The Bachelor – For good measure, let’s include all scripted reality television that promotes finding true love while setting women (or men) up in a harem and providing a viewing audience the opportunity to watch sad posturing and name calling. How far we’ve come friends! While current generations mock the apron-wearing housewives of 50s TV, at least these women had intelligence and knew how to let the zingers fly.
Ultra low riders – Again with the street thing. While this may have originated as a result of necessity – older siblings passing clothes along to younger siblings – 99.7% of people wearing low riding jeans are doing it as a fashion statement. I’m just not certain of what they’re stating:
My undies are cute?
My ass is hot and I need to cool it off?
I’m tough? That’s it! Because you look tough waddling across the street like a maimed penguin with one hand on his crotch so your pants won’t drop to your knees and send you face-first into the pavement.
Future generations of historians and archaeologist will scratch their heads at this fashion statement much like we scratch our heads at the Mayan practise of head binding to elongate skulls. And speaking of archaeology…how will the human gait evolve as a result of this fashion? See maimed penguin reference above.
I love a New Year like I love cracking open a brand new book and taking in the smell of crisp new pages with chapters yet to be discovered. Only three things will mess it up :
People who hashtag the shit out of Instagram photos (stop it)
Movies that include both Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter
Kristen Stewart (for all the obvious, expressionless reasons).
The Idiot Dad references on TV and in the Media – Guess what? Dads are more involved with their kids now than ever before. I’m not just talking about the growing Dad Blog population either. Stay at Home Dads are becoming a more common sight and fatherhood in general is a lot different now than it was during the Al Bundy and Mr. Mom era’s.
Mass Shootings in Public Places – This one is a no brainer and is wishful thinking at best. I realize that this issue is not going to go away overnight but my hope is that we can at least start the conversation. Whether the main issue is gun control, mental health care or something else, we need to have a serious discussion about how we can stop this from happening over and over again.
Caillou – Do I really need to elaborate on this one?
What would YOU like to see go away forever?