Advice for My Daughter

Would the advice for my daughter be any different than the advice I was given when growing up?

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When I was about 5 or 6 years old, I remember playing in the waiting room of the doctor’s office with my grandmother. We had been talking about “what we want to be when we grow up” at school lately, and I suddenly I announced to my grandma “I want to work in a doctor’s office when I grow up!” My grandma, delighted, asked “so you want to be a doctor?” I shook my head and pointed to the receptionist. “I want to be like her!” Dismayed, my grandma said I was smart enough to be a doctor and they made lots of money. I could do better than being a receptionist, she whispered.

At the time, I couldn’t understand it. The receptionist was pretty, always seemed happy and cheerful and got to listen to the radio and chat with people at her desk all day. The doctor, a middle-aged man with a surly attitude who always seemed impatient, was not exactly someone I aspired to be.

As I got older, my grandmother encouraged me in everything I did. I was a good student and always knew I’d head off to university one day. There was no better feeling than calling her when I got home from school and telling her I got an A on an assignment. My parents, both teachers, were always delighted with good marks, but it was my grandma who I felt the most desire to please. She came from a different era, an era where girls were expected to stay home, raise the family and clean the house. She was an intensely bright person, and although she had limited formal education, she was extremely well-read, interested in politics and world affairs and I know she must have been wistful when she imagined the choices she could have had, if times and gender roles had been different.

So it was me, her only granddaughter, who she poured her hopes and dreams into. When I was growing up, at a time when “Working Girl” was a hit movie and universities were graduating more women than men, she hoped I could be something great. “Something great” of course, meant a profession where I could make lots of money and be independent.

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This was the message that a lot of girls of my generation got. Dutifully, we got good grades, went onto university and got good jobs (I never did become a receptionist, but then again, I didn’t become a doctor either). Life was great! We may have been broke students and then struggling interns or first year lawyers who were overworked and underpaid, but going out for cheap cocktails after wrapping up an insane week at a busy office a la Sex and the City was a blast. Money started getting better, we were rising the corporate ladder and then…we got married, started having kids and realized- hey- this working hard thing doesn’t necessarily mesh with being a mommy. It was then that I heard about the “Opt Out Revolution” and thought, “why was I never told about this?”

Though I have now found a better balance being a working mommy, I think the advice I give my daughter will be slightly different than the advice I was given.

1. Think of the reasons you want the career you do. Be driven by your values or passions, rather than the value figure on a house or a car.  Do you want to be a lawyer because you are fascinated by the law and want to play a part in ensuring a fair justice system for all? Or, do you want to be a lawyer because this field pays pretty well and you can likely afford a ski chalet or cottage in addition to a large house in the city? You will burn out very quickly if you follow a career path for the wrong reasons.

2. Think of the lifestyle you want, more than the salary you want. Similar to point number one. Do you see yourself with a family one day?  If so, think about the time that you will want to devote to them- balanced with the fact that kids cost money to raise. Working 60 hours a week might provide monetarily for them, but will it buy you quality time? Probably not. Kids are only young once. In this day and age, yes, it generally takes two incomes to pay all the household bills (something that was not necessary in my grandma’s era), but whenever parents can find flexibility in their work and home life, I have to say, it is worth it. I LOVE that your dad and I pick you up from daycare together, cook dinner together and spend the evenings as a family.

3. Be inspired by your passions but don’t limit yourself. I personally don’t like the overly simplistic advice “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life”.  If what you love is basket-weaving, that’s fine, but at the end of the day you DO need to be able to pay for a roof over your head, food on your table and clothes on your back. If your passion allows you to pay for necessities and the extras that make life pleasurable for you (again, everyone will define what makes life pleasurable for them differently…to this mama, regular pedicures in the summer and dinners out every once in awhile do make me happy) then that’s wonderful.  If not, you need to be able to still pursue your hobby with a job that pays the bills. A friend of mine loves music, English literature and children. He put himself through medical school by teaching guitar and working as a camp counsellor. He is now a fantastic pediatrician (much better than the one I had as a kid!) and when he’s not at the clinic, he plays music and reads books to his two kids. How’s that for blending passion and working?

4. Work. Yes, your dad and I fully expect that you will get a part-time job when you are old enough. Why? Not only because we want you to experience the satisfaction that comes from being able to buy something with your own money, but because working can give you insight into what you want or don’t want in a future career, and teach you life skills that you won’t learn in a classroom. When I was in high school, working with children in day camps and daycares confirmed my hunch that while I loved kids, I didn’t want to be a teacher. My university summer job as a student orientation leader, however, led me to discover my passion for public relations.

5. Be a life-long learner. Yes, you will go to school and get an education. Your dad and I will support you in whatever choice you make because it is yours. But learning doesn’t stop the day you toss your cap and gown. Learning new skills at work, keeping up a second language and embracing new opportunities will allow you to continue to grow, keep you employable and add richness to your life. My father, whom you never got to meet, was famous for telling your older cousins “You must always be useful.” He was a wise man. Having a purpose in life, knowing that what you do brings value to those around you, gives you a reason to get up every day.

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Right now, you are two years old. Your world revolves around finger painting at daycare, somersaulting at gymnastics and singing “Ba Baa Woolley Sheep” in your high, little girl voice as you prance around in your jammies. You can count to ten and recite your ABCs. Your dad and I constantly amazed by you and can’t wait to see what you do with your life. Undoubtedly, your great-grandmother, your namesake, would be terribly proud of you too.

Ash blogs at Crackers in the Carseat and can be found on Twitter at @crackerscarseat.

Holding Her Back…Just a Little

By Candace Derickx

my baby

Ahhh, my oldest daughter. She is me. I am her. It is for this reason of course that we butt heads frequently. After all, we are both always right.

So you understand of course that “No” is not a word that my daughter has ever accepted without question — ever. Which is really just karma giving me a good old kick in the head for being exactly this way with my mother. Bitch. (Karma, not my mother)

I tell you all this because last Friday I handed down a no. A no so unjust, so monumentally unfair, that I was given the worst mother ever designation, yet again.

She asked to go to our local community dance.

She’s asked before and the answer has always been no, but because it conflicts with cheerleading practice I wasn’t getting much kick back on it. This Friday however, hell froze over and cheerleading was canceled due to bad weather and the dance was not. It was the perfect storm.

It started with a friend of hers telling her to come and that the dance was perfectly safe and prodding “Why won’t your mom let you go anyway?”

“But Moooom, so-and-so is going, and she says it’s safe.”

Cue the standard retort.

“I don’t care what other moms are letting their kids do”.

And I don’t. If other parents want to send their kids to this dance, that’s great. I’m not here to question why. The bottom line is that my instinct tells me it’s not right for my daughter yet. And very often all we have is our instinct to guide us.

But then the tears started. The big ugly cry with the gasps for air and the runny nose. The cry that makes a mother start to question her instinct. So I sat and I thought hard about why I didn’t want her at this dance.

She’s 10.
I think attending dances are milestones in life.
That everything in life doesn’t have to happen before you’re 12.
That I’ve heard negative comments about this dance from others.
That I didn’t think 10 year olds and 14 year olds should be at the same dance together.
That I didn’t want her at a dance with 300 kids.

And I gave her all these reasons and in the end my resolve was strong. And she hated me.

But here’s the one reason I kept to myself. I don’t want to push her over the edge. And by edge, I mean the edge of childhood.

Enter her room and it’s a strange mix of dolls, boy band posters, stuffed animals and make-up. She is dabbling on either side now.

And I know I can’t keep her on this side of childhood forever. But this time is so short, it is so fleeting, that I’m not going to help rush it along either. For it’s only a matter of time before the dolls get packed away and boy posters get replaced by boys, that stuffies become childish and makeup gets worn out of the house……to a dance.

And when that happens I’ll be along for the ride to help her maneuver through the most challenging times of a girls life. But not just yet. Not while we still have a little bit of childhood to cling on to.

Keeping Kids Warm in Winter

By Candace Derickx

Keeping kids warm in the winter is a major stressor for moms. Let’s face it, we’re running around after them with sweaters and socks in the fall, so when the snow hits we really start to worry. Who wants to see little frozen tootsies after playing outside? That’s no fun.

Here are a few things you can do to keep your kids nice and toasty when the barometer is doing the limbo:

=> Feed them a warm breakfast. Oatmeal is best, but French toast is also a hit. Fill their bellies to give them the energy they need to play outside in the sub-zero chillerator as my children say.

skating outside

=> Make sure their underoos are toasty warm. We’ve come a long way with fabric technology. Long-johns today aren’t bulky like they used to be, but more like a second skin that keeps you very, very warm, like these ones from Mountain Equipment Co-op.

=> Anyone will tell you that if your feet are cold the show’s over. No more fun to be had after that. I still think the warmest socks are wool socks, like these ones from L.L. Bean.

=> Mittens are warmer than gloves. And mittens with a waterproof exterior are even better. Look for mittens with a nylon exterior lined with fleece.

=> Hand warmers and feet warmers. Sometimes you need a little something extra. Invest in a box of these each winter for when it gets really cold.

keeping kids warm in winter

=> You’ve heard it before. 90% of your body heat gets lost through your head. I don’t know if that is entirely accurate but kids definitely need a warm hat on their head, preferably something that covers their ears. My husband calls them block warmers.

=> Like the long-johns of old, thicker is not necessarily best when it comes to outerwear. Fabrics such at Omnitec and Polartec are light but provide incredible warmth. Look for powder skirts on jackets to keep snow from riding up the coat while playing. Other things to look for with winter coats – Is it big enough to fit layers under? Does it have a hood? Is the fabric waterproof? What is the temperature rating? Most of this also applies to snow pants. Columbia Sportswear has excellent winter wear and most comes with their Outgrown system that allows the pants and coat to grow with your child.

=> Finally, limit exposure time. Frostbite can occur at anything below 0C or 32F. It’s not likely at that temperature, but as the temperature dips the risk for frostbite increases exponentially. From -18C to -29C, exposed skin can freeze in 5 minutes. From -29C to -56C, exposed skin can freeze in 1 minute. This is the best information I’ve found on exposure times in the winter.

keeping your kids warm

*photo credit CL Buchanan Photography

Disaster – Are you Ready?

 

By Candace Derickx

I’ve been awake since 4am, when it felt like someone dropped my house on it’s foundation and then the house seemed to shake back into place for another minute or so afterwards. At first, I thought I was dreaming, but when my oldest dog jumped on top of me and wouldn’t get off, I knew it was an earthquake. And then I lied there staring at the ceiling, thinking, “What if?”

What if that earthquake had been worse? What if we had to leave our home in a hurry? What if disaster struck?

Not to get all doom and gloom on you here — and please note I’ve been up since 4am and may be slightly neurotic — but does it not seem like Mother Nature is particularly cruel lately? From crazy tornadoes whipping across the Southern States in record numbers, to a hurricane that caused unprecedented damage in New York City, to massive earthquakes across the globe, it appears she’s a little pissed.

And I’m just guessing, but I bet not too many of us are prepared. I know I’m not.

Recently I was invited to attend the new exhibit, Nature Unleashed at Ottawa’s Museum of Nature. I took my girls to see it with me and we laughed and giggled a little in the tornado simulator. We stood in awe at some of the artifacts destroyed by tornadoes and hurricanes, and we were awestruck by the damage caused by volcanoes. Then we left and practically skipped to the car, no worse for the wear, because we don’t get it.

And most of us don’t. When we watch nature unleash on far off locales or even not so far off locales, it seems very abstract. I don’t think you can ever really understand what it’s like to live through a natural disaster until you’ve actually had to. You can only imagine the confusion, the panic, the heartbreak, and the sense of hopelessness. But the very worst part of living through a natural disaster is something we can’t truly grasp. Which brings me back around to the fact that I’m not prepared.

I know that in the event of a natural disaster you would not have time to look up what you need in a Emergency Kit and then throw it together. That bag actually needs to be ready….today. So that’s what I’m doing and I urge you to as well. The Canadian Government has a site called GetPrepared.Ca. It’s full of extremely useful information on what to do in the event of an earthquake, tornado, flood, nuclear incident, etc. It helps you prepare an emergency plan and provides ways to get information in the event of an emergency.

As far as an emergency kit goes, this is what you need for the first 72 hours:

  • Water – at least 2 litres per day per person
  • Food that won’t spoil, such as canned food, energy bars and dried foods
  • Manual Can Opener
  • Crank or battery-powered flashlight (with extra batteries)
  • Crank or battery-powered radio (and extra batteries)
  • First Aid Kit
  • Extra Keys (vehicle and home)
  • Cash in smaller bills, and change for payphones
  • A copy of your emergency plan and contact information
  • Special items such as prescription medication, infant formula, and equipment for people with disabilities.

If you want you can also add the following additional emergency supplies:

  • Two additional litres of water per person per day for cooking and cleaning
  • Candles and matches or lighter, place in sturdy containers and do not burn unattended
  • Change of clothing and footwear,  for each household member
  • Sleeping bag or Warm Blanket, for each household member
  • Toiletries
  • Hand sanitizer
  • Toilet Paper
  • Utensils
  • Garbage Bags
  • Household chlorine bleach or water purifying tablets
  • Basic tools – hammers pliers, wrench, screwdrivers, work gloves, pocket knife
  • Small fuel-operated stove and fuel
  • Whistle – to attract attention
  • Duct Tape

Also, in my kit, I’m going to throw some playing cards, some colouring pencils, papers, candies and a couple of stuffies, to help calm nerves of my little ones. Finally, don’t forget about your furry friends. You can find a full list of what you need for them here.

 

Why I Run For A Cure for Breast Cancer

By Amanda McNally

I was 12 years old the first time I heard the words “breast cancer”. I had no idea what breast cancer would mean for my family and although I understood that my mother was sick, I always, always thought she’d get better. I was just 16 when my mother passed away from this disease. After her death one of the most difficult things for me was feeling powerless. I knew I had to do something but since I wasn’t very good in the science department (understatement of the year) I figured I would have to leave it up to someone else to find a cure.

Then at the age of twenty, just 4 years after losing my mom to breast cancer, I discovered a lump in my right breast. I have never been more terrified. All I really knew about breast cancer then was that it ended my mother’s life. Thankfully, a biopsy determined that the lump was benign and it was removed. It wasn’t long after that I began to realize that although I couldn’t single-handedly find the cure, I could be a part of the force behind finding one and I began to participate in the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation CIBC Run for the Cure.

This was a life changing moment for me. Participating in the Run offered me something I didn’t have before – a feeling of taking action. I was no longer sitting idly by waiting to see if my story would be like my mother’s. I encouraged friends and family to join and we began raising funds. Over the years we have raised tens of thousands of dollars for breast cancer.

Six years ago my son was born and nothing could have prepared me for the rollercoaster of emotions I would feel not having my mother there. I knew I would be sad but this was so much more than that – I came undone. I was plagued by thoughts of “what if what happened to my mom happens to me”. I couldn’t imagine not getting to see my son grow up. I decided I needed to be more involved in the cause and became the volunteer Vancouver Run Director for the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation CIBC Run for the Cure. My experience as a volunteer Run Director was more therapeutic than any amount of therapy ever could be.

This past August marked the 23rd anniversary of my mother’s death. So much more is known now about breast cancer – the importance of prevention, early detection and awareness. I often wonder what my mom would think of how far we have come since her breast cancer diagnosis over 20 years ago. I can only hope that she knows the role she has played in inspiring me to do all I can against this disease and that she is proud of all that has been accomplished so far, of all that I have accomplished so far.

I am 39 years old now and when my mom was this age she was sick. And dying. I have always thought she died young but to be that age now gives me more perspective and it breaks my heart.

Two years ago I was hired by the Foundation and am now blessed to be the Community Relations Coordinator and I get to do a job I love while honoring my mom every day. I work hard each day to ensure that my son, and now my 3 year old daughter, never grow up knowing what it is like to lose their mother to breast cancer.

Amanda is the Community Relations Coordinator at the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation BC/Yukon Region. She lives in White Rock, BC with her husband Chris and two children Jacob (5) and Penny (3). Amanda’s passion for the cause comes from her desire to create a future without breast cancer so her children never know what it like to lose their mother to breast cancer. Follow her @mrsmandymac.

Back to School/End of Year Party

Now that the kids are back at school, it’s time to party, Kalamu, Fiesta, forever…..sorry lost in a Lionel Richie song. Come on and sing along! Gah! Sorry, sorry. I just love parties. And what better way to celebrate that the kids are back at school than with a fun get-together? Not for you and your friends, although I definitely think I need to plan that, but for your kids and their friends!

I’ve had parties every year for the kids to celebrate the beginning of a new school year and to get to know their classmates better. Last year I planned a party for the beginning of the school year and sent the kids home with a time capsule and an invite to come back in June for a pool party. This year, my girls got kind of picky and insisted that no boys be invited. That meant we were able to get a little girly with the planning.

We planned our party for the Sunday after school started but you could do it anytime in September as far as I’m concerned. I picked up some very cheap composition books and invited the girls to Sundae School. Note the ‘e’ in Sundae. I had the party after lunch and before dinner so I didn’t have to serve a meal. We had fruit platters and of course, make-your-own Sundaes.

When the girls arrived, I had them write their name and the date on a piece of paper and we took individual pictures, one goofy, one nice under the tree in our front yard. We also took group shots, with you guessed it, one goofy, and one nice. I immediately sent these to Walmart for printing and had my husband go pick them up.

For activities I had the girls fill out questionnaires about who their favourite band was, what they wanted to be when they grew up, what they wanted to do really well with at school this year, what subject they loved, what subject they hated etc. They also filled out a True/False sheet. These, along with their pictures were placed in a small Mason jar and sent home with them with instructions to return in June.

They also sat on the lawn and wrote “warm fuzzies” in each other’s composition books. It could be kind words or a nice picture, or it could be totally silly, which is just like 7 and 9 year old girls to do. Finally, we had a good old-fashioned game of Bobbing for Apples (just for kicks we added lots of ice) which not one single kid there had ever played before. They loved it. So much so that they asked if I would do it again at the summer party.

In June I sent reminders to all the kids to join us and to bring their time capsules with them.

We repeated the same poses we did in September.

The girls opened their time capsules.

Laughed at some of their answers from when they were so much younger, like, a whole nine months ago!

And couldn’t believe how much they changed.

As promised bobbing for apples.

A ridiculously easy Pool Party Cake.

Each girl received a notebook where they exchanged their contact information for the summer.

And these adorable summer time cookies from A Couple of Squares.

Then I collected my hugs from my children, because I totally deserved it! :)

Shark Week

Dear Readers,

See this kid right here? I LOVE this kid. My best friend’s daughter, I’ve watched her grow over the years into a beautiful young lady. A beautiful young lady with a passion for soccer.

This year her soccer team, the Southend United Sharks have been nominated as one of 15 finalists for the BMO Soccer Team of the Week. If they win, they get at $125,000 soccer field refurbishment for their city and $5000 donated to Relay for Life, their chosen charity.

So, why this post? Well for your vote of course. I have a platform here, and when it comes to someone I love I’m going to use this platform. That kid you see above and all her teammates are the good stuff. They’re the hard working, bright, smart, athletic, community minded kids that will grow up to be tomorrow’s leaders. They don’t want to win a new wardrobe, or makeup or concert tickets. They want to win a new soccer field for their city and money for their favourite charity. Did I mention I love this kid?

Please take a minute an go vote for the Southend United Sharks here Then set up a wee reminder in your calendar to vote everyday until August 27th.

Watch the video below just for an extra little tug on your heart strings ;)

Thank you
Candace
xo

A Healthy Dose of Sprinkles

by Lindsay Pennell

When I had my first daughter, almost four years ago now, I never could have imagined how different my life would become. It’s not the 4 a.m. feedings, sleep deprivation, countless diaper changes or the way that life suddenly became all about my children that shocked me. It was the sudden bonds and deep friendships with other parents that caught me off guard.

At the ripe old age of 24, I thought I had this whole ‘parenting’ thing figured out and was ready to tackle motherhood. See, the thing about me is, I’m outgoing and friendly but I am also very up front and at times, well, alot to handle when it comes to my no-holds barred honest approach to life. Before my daughter, I didn’t generally like other people’s children and had no idea why some parents would put their children on those silly backpacks with leashes and let them become sticky with mud or ice cream. Ew.

I felt that if I attended play groups or “mommy talks” I would be judged for my lack of knowledge on the diaper genie or the fact that I had no idea what BPA was or why it was important. For the first few months, I stuck to my own circle of fabulous friends. Although amazing, none of them had entered into mommyhood yet, so I bored them with conversation about the consistency of poop and teething rings. Then I decided to face my fears and “mommy up” by attending one of these dreaded mom groups.

The first playgroup I attended was filled with talk of “little Christopher being very advanced for his age” and “what school are you sending your daughter to?”.

This threw me for a loop because I hadn’t decided what we were even having for dinner that night, let alone which form of higher education best-suited my monkey.

That said, I forced myself to keep going, all the while telling myself it would improve my daughter’s ability to play chess before her third birthday and become the next Picasso.

Then a fabulous thing happened. The “competitive mommies” started to weed themselves out, and I found myself meeting other parents who seemed not only able to understand my humour but also my parenting style. I reconnected with some old acquaintances who have since had children, and even some old family friends, who have kids as well.

Yes, we do trade stories of baby poop and sleepless nights but we also talk about our spouses and what books we are reading. The conversations flow from wine, to our family, to the latest drama on our facebook pages – all without judgement, and a healthy dose of humour.

A few years have passed now. I still have my amazing childhood friends, some with children and some without. I have added more lovely ladies to my close circle and our husbands are also starting to benefit from our friendships. We find ourselves attending family BBQ’s, hosting “mommy only” potluck dinners, and trading off our children for “date nights”.

If you asked me five years ago if this is what I imagined being a parent was like, I would have laughed and vowed never to conform. Yet these days, my girls sport cute puppy dog backpacks with leashes and have extra sprinkles on their ice cream – and their faces!

Lindsay Pennell is the proud mom of three beautiful girls, age three and under. While Lindsay’s oldest daughter still can’t play chess, she can spell her name and better yet, has inherited her mother’s “unique” sense of humour. Read more about Lindsay’s local adventures with the family at littlecitycharm.blogspot.com and follow her on Twitter @littlecitycharm.

What is a Co-Op?

by Jayne Russell

I woke up this morning with a sore back. There’s nothing new about that, it happens every day. It would be oh so easy to gripe about it all day and do the whole, “woe is me” thing. That’s easy. What’s harder is to remove myself from “me” and remember that far too many people didn’t have a bed to get out of this morning. And if they did, their day might involve scrounging for food, avoiding armed rebels, or knowing they have no access to medical care of any kind. And then, my back feels a bit better.

This also reminds me of how proud I am to be working for a Canadian co-operative (The Co-operators) and as such part of a growing co-operative sector worldwide. This year co-operatives received a gift — the United Nations declared 2012 International Year of Co-operatives. And, what a wonderful chance to tell our story. A story of promise and hope, of empowerment and a fundamental belief that all humans are equal and entitled to the same quality of life.

Co-operative enterprises around the world are delivering on that promise through local action and real solutions. Co-operative enterprises pick-up where others fail or respond to needs no one else cares about.

So what exactly is a co-op?

Co-operatives and credit unions are driven by both economic and social concerns. They are community-based organizations that care not only about the bottom lines of their businesses, but about the needs of their members and the quality of life in their communities.
Co-operatives and credit unions differ from other businesses in three key ways: A Different Purpose: The primary purpose of co-operatives and credit unions is to meet the common needs of their members, whereas the primary purpose of most investor-owned businesses is to maximize profit for shareholders.

A Different Control Structure: Co-operatives and credit unions use the one-member/one-vote system, not the one-vote-per-share system used by most businesses. This helps the co-operative or credit union serve the common need rather than the individual need, and is a way to ensure that people, not capital, control the organization. A Different Allocation of Profit: Co-operatives and credit unions share profits among their member-owners on the basis of how much they use the co-op, not on how many shares they hold. Co-operatives and credit unions also tend to invest their profits in improving service to members and promoting the well-being of their communities. (Source: Canadian Co-operative Association)

So are we ready for a world that puts people before profits? If the Occupy Movement tells us anything, the answer is yes.

We are ready for a change. Co-operatives are the game changer. It’s our time to shine.

One billion people on the planet are members of a co-operative. So why are we the best kept secret? Go tell a friend. I thank you, and so does my back.

Pleasantville Note: I sit on The Co-Operators Community Action Panel for Ottawa. My experience with them has been extremely positive, but it wasn’t until recently that I had a firm understanding of what a cooperative was. I asked Jayne (my Co-operators liaison) to please share with my readers because I felt the information was valuable. She graciously agreed.

Life in Pleasantville at One

A little over a year ago, I started Life in Pleasantville. I had been blogging for just over two years at the YummyMummyClub, and was looking to carve out a space of my own on the web. My own little happy place, so to speak.

That first month I had 137 unique visitors. It’s fair to say that I probably knew each and every one of them. It’s also very likely that I prodded, pushed and threatened them to come visit. Last month I had over 3,500 unique visits. No threats required.

Initially, I worried that I wouldn’t have enough material to fill a space. But I stayed focused on what mattered to me, what made me happy…..travel, food, music, family, repeat. Shock of all shocks, the material just kept coming. Sharing recipes I serve my family every single day. Sharing the music that gets my butt moving or my heart soaring. Sharing travel posts from places I’ve been lucky enough to visit. Occasionally venting, sometimes gushing, always just me.

Just me.

That’s important in this world of blogging. It’s like the expression “There will always be somebody prettier than you, but they will never be you”. In the world of blogging, there will always be someone more talented, better with words, better in the kitchen, smarter than me….but they are not me. And it’s hard not to compare, because that’s what we tend to do. What are you numbers? Who comes to visit? Who have you connected with? It can be stressful and for what, I ask you?

That’s not what I wanted Pleasantville to be. I wanted it be my happy place and while I will always look at my numbers, I remain focused on my goal…..and here’s where I pull out a tacky movie quote……if I build it, they will come.

I feel blessed for every person who visits Pleasantville, whether through a stumble, a pin, a facebook link or a word-of-mouth reference. I delight when my best friend’s neighbour leaves a comment, or a co-worker from my former life finds me, or when someone I’ve never met leaves a comment that makes my day, or when my mom leaves a comment. Because, frankly, there’s nothing better than knowing your mom still checks in on you once in awhile.

If I can offer any advice to anyone thinking of starting a blog, it’s this. Put your blinders on. You don’t need to see who’s coming up beside you, or who’s whooping your ass in the stats department. You need to stay focused on what matters to you, because ultimately, that’s all that matters.

So without further ado, a small look back.

Top 3 Posts for Traffic

Harry Potter Books – while I’d like to think it’s the way I’ve chosen to read these books with my daughters, I do believe it’s the picture that’s been pinned ad nauseum on Pinterest, that’s the reason for the traffic.

Frozen French Lemondade – I’m a little gobsmacked that this one is in here, simply because I just posted it last week. Which goes to show, you never know what’s going to catch on. This post has over 1900 stumbles alone. Try the drink though, forget the stumbles.

Turkey Burgers – Okay, they are really good. So I’m not surprised by this one at all.

Top 3 Favorite Posts

Banning Balls and Other Stupidity – Honestly, sometimes I think we can’t find enough to make a big deal over. I’ve rolled my eyes so often the last year, I’m surprised they haven’t come loose of their sockets.

The Pleasantville Parenting Manifesto – asked if I thought French moms were superior, I answered.

7 Super Shots – I was sucked in by a meme and loved sorting through my photos.

Top Three Posts that Make Me Laugh

Little MissMatched – My seven year old tests my matchy-matchy ways.

Reading to Your Dog – Kids literacy can improve by reading to pets. Poor dog.

Give a Kid a Camera – Alright, who’s smart idea was it to give my daughter a camera of her own. Sheesh.

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